Why do I dream of you this way?

Why do I dream of you this way?

Of separation and despair.

The longing for you…

The longing for you to long for me.

To continue on eternally.

Changelessly…

The pain that’s caused, real or imagined, now envelops me.

The weight of my sorrow.

Encumbering.

The darkness,
Emptied of love.

And on finally waking, like a man submerged in an ocean of fear, rising to the surface and gasping for air,

I am alone.

I wade to shore, fatigued.
The water still – waist high.
The taste of consolation,
Salty against my lips.

My body wet and heavy.
Its memory, like narrow rivers, dripping off me.

Evaporating.

Fading…

Now vague of detail.
Yet drenched with emotion.

Why do I dream of you this way?

The guilt of desire.

The grasping and clutching.

The endlessly yearning for you.

Neglectful of love.

Our love…

The disremembering…